well, here we are.
closing in on a year that none of us really anticipated.
I started Jan 1 hopeful, optimistic, and encouraged.
I chose FOCUS as my word so I could work on me, relational goals and also with Debbie reconfiguring Restore to Soar
and then . . .
My home flooded. FLOODED. We had to pack up the entire contents of our downstairs and it was moved off site (could not even tell you where it went) ..and we had to adjust to the repairs that were being drug out for weeks on end.
A long term relationship took a huge pause..
and then COVID hit ...election year politics got heated ..
and with all the dominoes, I was let go from my job.
April 1 came and I was like 'WHAT IS ALL THIS' for the love of everything holy?
So I paused. I isolated. I reflected. and I decided to work on the things I COULD control.
I'm not so sure if I was on the verge of giving up or resolving to persevere -that depended on the actual day if you asked. I cried alot.
The learning and undoing came about painful and slow.
(here I am at a low point - trying to work thru my grief .. those days were hard - - so I took to writing with a Sharpie on the bare floorboards, things that needed to be said for a new season to come)
Can you imagine what the girls thought? LOL ..
I camped alot. Like a crazy amount of weekend trips.
I was grateful that I had that trailer and that the Georgia State Park system did not shut the parks down. While buying that camper may have been a bit crazy at the time .. it was a universe/God thing for sure.
I shifted how I met with friends. Drivebys with coffee became a thing.
Slowing down to meet up with friends because I had the time now ..
And I was blessed to find some unique things to do .. and I was so out of my mind bored that I was willing to 'try' most anything but even better with a beloved friend ..
The year contained alot of grief.
It was about the loss of connection and control.
Slowly, yet not ideal, a new acceptance and perspective came to sit with me.
While things were in no way working how I prayed for and worked myself into believing - they were working once I just allowed what I had before me .. to fall as needed. I did own time, resolve, and acceptance. The acceptance came from realizing that most EVERYONE had been affected .. and it was detrimental to even be pitiful as if this was a plight against me.
I, like a million others, turned to nature to get the noise out of my head .. and put some peace in my heart.
And as we inch toward a closing of this year that will go down in the history books for all it wrecked on the masses .. I am still hopeful .. but changed. I learned alot. Volumes.
Maybe you did too.
Slow is good.
The 'stuff' is consuming to manage.
Purging is therapeutic. Let it go.
Grieving is best when allowed to breathe.
Hang onto hope.
My hope is that you too can glean some bright spots and valuable life lessons learned in this one messed up, not normal year..
That you are able to label this year more for shifting than classified as devastation and that you are able to be "hopeful" for 2021 but taking all those nuggets of wisdom tucked carefully and safely with you.
Here is to walking to a new path .. and a new journey for 2021.
Currently I am in the process of choosing a new word for the upcoming year. . (that will probably be the next blog post)
Restore to Soar is still here.
We are still committed to bringing women together .. and to gather through art, conversation and warmth .. and when the season allows, we have some amazing dreams that will unfold. Right now, we are in the cocoon season.. but in the meantime both Debbie and I will still be learning more around us to share, writing classes, designing spaces that are beautiful that will hold love, creativity and peace and we will continue to keep our journals full of all the ideas that will take us to a new place once it is safe and all falls into place .. It will come.
xOxO
Darlene
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