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  • Writer's pictureDarlene Dennis

2017 - UnResolutions

I took this picture on a walk I was on this past Christmas Day - - I was lonely and a bit reflective and decided that getting out of the house, clearing some of my negative thoughts and thinking about some intentions to set for 2017 would be the best I put on some gear and took off. I love where I live because the paths are set in place for moments like this and are close to perfect. I feel so incredibly grateful when I walk around the lake and my perspective begins to change.

As I thought more about the upcoming year I decided that I should seek to do some things different - and instead of setting resolutions to improve, judge, and grade my performance in the upcoming year by, that I would approach this year differently. Kind of fitting since it is now encroaching upon the five year mark of the tsunami.

UnResolutions. I like it. It is where I decide what I won't do .. and let the pressure of performance in my personal life GO .. and yet at the same time firm up some things that I also won't allow.

Here's my list .. feel free to add .. take away .. but the most important is to decide what is best for you and your life - - to be your best in any given moment and to light the world with what you have to offer:

1.) I will NOT try to fit it all in. I will be okay with saying NO when asked to do something if it is a stretch and could take away from something greater . . because as a single mom trying to rebuild a life with limited time and resources I have learned that in order to say yes to something I must also be willing to say no to something that might really be my core priority. No longer.

2.) I will no longer put things, experiences, or relationships ON HOLD until a benchmark is reached. This is crucial to intentional living and I'm finding out that conforming to certain benchmarks is really allowing other's agendas to take precedent over what I know is needed for me to live MY LIFE fully. . and if I am to be content and happy on my own it also means setting the bar to be real and transparent. . and that can be scary and downright painful. . but also you can't be surprised by what you are prepared for so I will be more vulnerable with what my expectations are and if they don't line up with where I am, that I walk away, move on, learn and start over. I will be okay either way.

3.) It is not my job to make people love or even like me. Their response is more about them then it ever was about me and to make choices around what is right for me versus them 'liking' me or me coming across as more acceptable / presentable.

4.) I will no longer pick apart my past nor try to revisit it for the sake of critiquing it or me. It is finished. It is done. I am no longer that girl so I will not seek her out when I need to move in circumstances and decisions regarding my present day life and who I am today. My past will no longer be a point of reference in my decisions of today.

5.) I will no longer compare my progress to those around me. Some will finish the race before me - actually it is happening all around me. They are starting over in love, career, and homes .. and if I glance continually over there to their camp, I lose sight of what is before me and the work I have to do or what has been blessed to me. My path is my path. I need to embrace it - (refer however to #2 in this - LOL) Comparison truly is the thief of joy. . and distraction is key in getting us to believe that we are not worthy in that new beginning .. it is a tool that is so very negative.

6.) I will stop being so hard on myself for not hitting certain targets or getting projects done. Again, it will come together as it needs to be - - what is important is that whatever moment I am in , I will enjoy my company, not rush through, get the most out of and LEARN something by slowing down .. because maybe that was the unintentional purpose of the moment that I am unaware of but will be most blessed by.

7.) I will no longer apologize for the boundaries I put in place to protect the things and people and relationships I hold dear - - my beloveds are not worth an ounce of compromising. . and this is a hard one because I don't wish to be viewed as mean or stern but I have learned through alot of hurt and pain, that this is so so necessary not only for me but for them - it is the core of Soul Restoration. Making boundaries is about figuring out how much space you need between yourself and another person in order to have a healthy relationship - it actually is a brave act of unconditional love and one of the most important skills we can ever learn.

I wish and hope the best for this upcoming year .. for me, for you and for those around us. I hope you will lean into this year with being gracious and kind-hearted to YOURSELF and in the process enjoy all that comes your way.

Here is to an amazing 2017 . . . .

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